I did a bad thing, Tony.
Discover more from Claire Diaz-Ortiz’s Newsletter
Hello!
On weekend mornings in the late 1980s in the San Francisco Bay Area, you could reliably find me and my younger brother playing Super Mario Brothers on our trusty Nintendo Entertainment System. Since I was 8 or 9, and Little Tony was 2 or 3, it goes without saying that I was destined to be the better player in our two-player matchups.
Unfortunately, it also goes without saying that that’s not telling the full story.
The FULL story is that foggy Berkeley mornings are cold and Pendleton blankets are not see-through and although my then-toddler-now-adult brother was HOLDING A CONTROLLER AND PRESSING IT WITHOUT CEASING, it was actually, always a one-player game.
I did a bad thing, Little Tony.*
{* Name as per my phone contacts.}
Dumpster Fires
For my 40th birthday this week my BFFs paid Nick Viall of The Bachelor to record a video congratulating me on my age via the personalized celebrity recording site, Cameo. Despite whatever sum my former “Otero” freshman dorm-mates paid him, Nick 100% failed to read the requisite one-sentence information blurb before hitting record on his message. To be clear, as talent for Cameo, this is, without a doubt, one’s ONLY job.
As a result, his birthday message to me is a glorious, emerging dumpster fire of a train-wreck. Watch as he literally… reads… the words… live … (and becomes increasingly confused in the process). I loved it dearly and let’s all pray to baby Jesus that Cameo continues not to fire him for ongoing poor performance.
And, as if it wasn’t clear, he clarifies to what we can attribute his downward spiral:
Reading
Daley Ervin (a fellow venture capital Kauffman Fellow with me) is about to take off on the next leg of his goal to become the first American to circumnavigate the globe on human power.
What did you do this month? (I, for one, watched television.) I’ll be looking to wife Kat Cole (president of Athletic Greens) for the tweeting.
McSweeney’s wins the internet for a parody of a New-Covid-Rules-for-School Email for Parents. A taste:
“We recognize that at-home tests no longer exist except for 5 seconds on Walmart’s website before vanishing. As such, our school nurse has approved the use of a Q-tip with six droplets of vodka splashed onto an egg carton instead.”
Read it.
Yes.
Startups, etc.
Oh hey look what fund is now doing early stage checks into Latin American startups? It’s Kleiner Perkins and yours truly, with a map to make you ponder every thought you ever thought about THE AMERICAS.
Universal Basic Income for DAOs, anyone? Yep. It’s called Proof of Humanity.
Also, I remain passionate about women-led NFTs, the more turquoise the better.
Where were the US-based unicorn founders born? Immigrants, y’all!
Hearts
COVID came during my birthday week so we couldn’t go out, but I am 100% headed here this week. SWOON.
Also, in case the introductory story was not crystal clear, on behalf of Little Tony I would pay lots of money to be able to find my old machine. Mr @ericbahn is one lucky man!
Bye now,
Claire