Dear Claire, what a nice post to read! I am from Argentina, now living in Paris, and I agree with all you said. I am especially proud reading your experience with assisted reproductive techniques and the fact that they are covered by the State. I am the drafter of the regulation that makes that possible, and of many other regulations that give free access to healthcare. Thanks for pointing out the good things of my country!
You ARE?! Oh my gosh!!!!! When I did it my residence was in the province and it wasn’t free yet here (and there is a wait) so we did it with OSDE, but I could have done it in with a city residence, as I understand.
Thanks! I am very proud of that regulation, because I know it give the possibility to start a family to a lot of people who didn’t have the money to access the treatment. It is a regulation that had brought joy to so many people. I think it was one of peaks of my career.
I am so happy to know this!! It was the most difficult regulations to pass. I spent months explaining the necessity of the law to the legislators in order to secure their vote. But it was worth it!
There are so many good things in this piece that I almost don't know where to start. So, I'll just pick one thing.
In the United States (and, right up front: there are many good things about this country), people may say they want a village. But what they really want is a big house that's near a village they can visit. They don't want a village taking care of their kids. They want a that village that has a good coffee shop and a store with artisan bread. They really don't want that village educating their children. There are tutors and trainers for that.
The United States has always been riven by its original concept: individual/commonwealth. With the implosion of the middle class, there is just one metric left: money. And with that criterion, individual will trump commonwealth every time.
Thank you for sharing this! We lived in Switzerland for four years and it’s tough being back in the states again. It’s frustrating to see the utter failure in how we treat families here and the gaps in healthcare and support. I feel completely helpless bc I don’t know how to fix/deal with it.
I just wrote the yin to your piece’s yang: about how hard parenting in the US is. As I read this I kept saying out loud to my husband, “why didn’t we move to Argentina when the kids were young.” I had a similar reaction when reading Kirsten’s article. We’re Canadian and think often about leaving the US for elsewhere. Great piece!
I love this! The 40% childcare debt stat is 10000% real. If you haven't, check out https://www.heymirza.com/ (I'm an advisor/investor). They are trying a cool model.
Also, this stat in your piece is due to decline in paid support, yes? --> "Mothers today dedicate almost double the time to daily childcare tasks compared to six decades ago, even though moms are much more likely now to be working outside the home."
Great writing Claire! I didn't know much about Argentina, apart from the Football and Tango (which I love both). It's great to see how life is happening there from the ground zero.
I had come to a realisation recently that the mentality of the younger generations (Millenials mostly - I'm Gen-X parent) posses today are the product of this over-protective parenting that started in the early nineties.
We basically put our children in a 'zoo' and obviously when we let them out to the 'wild' the first thing that happened was that they were eaten by the hyenas.
One thing I was very intrigued was about children drinking Coke and Coffee, and dinner at 9 :) This wouldn't happen in my house, otherwise we will be in trouble (trying to wake them up in time for school). I wonder - what about alcohol - is it also less-restricted ;)
Candy, Free Range, and Ease! Thank you for these words Claire. Something has gone bonkers in the US culture. We put so much stock into winning, competition, and strength that we are not allowed to relax and go slow. I suppose that most of us will breakdown and fall behind except the 1 winner. Sadly this message is preached to the kids in school, sports and even in churches. Thank you for a dose of reality from a village with supportive villagers.
I loved this, and see parallels with parenting here in South Africa. there are enough circles here that parent in the way you described is the US norm , and I often feel like I’m swimming upstream. This read has reminded me there’s a bigger view, and I feel I’ve just exhaled for the first time all week. Loved my brief time in Argentina too 16 years ago and it gave me context for this brilliant read. Thank you.
Thanks for reading! My BFF lives in South Africa now and I think there are parallels for sure. The Southern hemisphere has a different pace, and although I've never lived in New Zealand, my BFF (who has) has talked about it as being similar as well. But yes, the pockets of US can exist, I'm sure. How do you manage to swim upstream?!
It’s possible but it’s lonely! One needs to find a tribe-school of upstream-swimmers to spend , homework-neglecting, academically-average, empty but simple and happy afternoons together 🐠
That’s basically the way I grew up in Venezuela and France, the best of both worlds…my conclusion is the United States is the most amazing country for work and business…for every thing else it’s terrible and scary…my real friends in the US are all foreigners since I landed here some 2 decades ago, everybody else are work and business “friends”…your post is excellent and I loved the way you captured what a good life is about…your husband nailed it with his quote 😉 …keep enjoying life the way it’s supposed to be!
Hola Claire es tal cual como escribís. Yo soy de argentina y mi mujer de Nevada. Vivimos en Tigre pero estamos de visita unos meses en la casa de mis suegros en USA.
Tenemos un bebé de 4 meses, nuestro primero.
Si no es demasiado pedir, sería posible que cuando volvamos al principio de año a Arg podamos hablar con ustedes. Mi mujer está teniendo problemas de adaptación a vivir en argentina por falta de amigas y conocidos en una situación similar a la nuestra.
Dear Claire, what a nice post to read! I am from Argentina, now living in Paris, and I agree with all you said. I am especially proud reading your experience with assisted reproductive techniques and the fact that they are covered by the State. I am the drafter of the regulation that makes that possible, and of many other regulations that give free access to healthcare. Thanks for pointing out the good things of my country!
You ARE?! Oh my gosh!!!!! When I did it my residence was in the province and it wasn’t free yet here (and there is a wait) so we did it with OSDE, but I could have done it in with a city residence, as I understand.
Again, THATS AMAZING YOU DID THAT!!!!!!!
Thanks! I am very proud of that regulation, because I know it give the possibility to start a family to a lot of people who didn’t have the money to access the treatment. It is a regulation that had brought joy to so many people. I think it was one of peaks of my career.
Yes, I am!! The national regulation was passed in 2013. If you did your treatment after that date, OSDE should have covered 100 % of the treatment.
Yep! 2014 and 2016 and they did!
I am so happy to know this!! It was the most difficult regulations to pass. I spent months explaining the necessity of the law to the legislators in order to secure their vote. But it was worth it!
This is actually CRAZY we found each other here! It's amazing what you've done!!!
Yes, It's amazing! because I didn´t subscribe to your page knowing that you were living in Argentina.
There are so many good things in this piece that I almost don't know where to start. So, I'll just pick one thing.
In the United States (and, right up front: there are many good things about this country), people may say they want a village. But what they really want is a big house that's near a village they can visit. They don't want a village taking care of their kids. They want a that village that has a good coffee shop and a store with artisan bread. They really don't want that village educating their children. There are tutors and trainers for that.
The United States has always been riven by its original concept: individual/commonwealth. With the implosion of the middle class, there is just one metric left: money. And with that criterion, individual will trump commonwealth every time.
Thanks so much, John! A big house near a village they can visit. What a TRULy amazing image.
Thank you for sharing this! We lived in Switzerland for four years and it’s tough being back in the states again. It’s frustrating to see the utter failure in how we treat families here and the gaps in healthcare and support. I feel completely helpless bc I don’t know how to fix/deal with it.
Exactly. So many aspects of life in the USA aren’t built for parents. It’s wildy sad.
I just wrote the yin to your piece’s yang: about how hard parenting in the US is. As I read this I kept saying out loud to my husband, “why didn’t we move to Argentina when the kids were young.” I had a similar reaction when reading Kirsten’s article. We’re Canadian and think often about leaving the US for elsewhere. Great piece!
https://joannfinkelstein.substack.com/p/rewriting-motherhood
I love this! The 40% childcare debt stat is 10000% real. If you haven't, check out https://www.heymirza.com/ (I'm an advisor/investor). They are trying a cool model.
Also, this stat in your piece is due to decline in paid support, yes? --> "Mothers today dedicate almost double the time to daily childcare tasks compared to six decades ago, even though moms are much more likely now to be working outside the home."
Wow very glad to learn about Mirza! What a cool and needed model. I'm intrigued...
Great writing Claire! I didn't know much about Argentina, apart from the Football and Tango (which I love both). It's great to see how life is happening there from the ground zero.
I had come to a realisation recently that the mentality of the younger generations (Millenials mostly - I'm Gen-X parent) posses today are the product of this over-protective parenting that started in the early nineties.
We basically put our children in a 'zoo' and obviously when we let them out to the 'wild' the first thing that happened was that they were eaten by the hyenas.
One thing I was very intrigued was about children drinking Coke and Coffee, and dinner at 9 :) This wouldn't happen in my house, otherwise we will be in trouble (trying to wake them up in time for school). I wonder - what about alcohol - is it also less-restricted ;)
Candy, Free Range, and Ease! Thank you for these words Claire. Something has gone bonkers in the US culture. We put so much stock into winning, competition, and strength that we are not allowed to relax and go slow. I suppose that most of us will breakdown and fall behind except the 1 winner. Sadly this message is preached to the kids in school, sports and even in churches. Thank you for a dose of reality from a village with supportive villagers.
A book title? (Candy, Free Range & Ease!)
Love this!
The poor quality of public education makes me so sad though :(
Absolutely.
Great at university level, but not good anymore at primary and secondary;(
I loved this, and see parallels with parenting here in South Africa. there are enough circles here that parent in the way you described is the US norm , and I often feel like I’m swimming upstream. This read has reminded me there’s a bigger view, and I feel I’ve just exhaled for the first time all week. Loved my brief time in Argentina too 16 years ago and it gave me context for this brilliant read. Thank you.
Thanks for reading! My BFF lives in South Africa now and I think there are parallels for sure. The Southern hemisphere has a different pace, and although I've never lived in New Zealand, my BFF (who has) has talked about it as being similar as well. But yes, the pockets of US can exist, I'm sure. How do you manage to swim upstream?!
It’s possible but it’s lonely! One needs to find a tribe-school of upstream-swimmers to spend , homework-neglecting, academically-average, empty but simple and happy afternoons together 🐠
Absolutely! Let's be average! ;)
Thanks this is great. I'm going to share it with my readers in my next post!
Thanks! ;;)
That’s basically the way I grew up in Venezuela and France, the best of both worlds…my conclusion is the United States is the most amazing country for work and business…for every thing else it’s terrible and scary…my real friends in the US are all foreigners since I landed here some 2 decades ago, everybody else are work and business “friends”…your post is excellent and I loved the way you captured what a good life is about…your husband nailed it with his quote 😉 …keep enjoying life the way it’s supposed to be!
“For everything else…” LOL ;) True. and True. ;)
Hola Claire es tal cual como escribís. Yo soy de argentina y mi mujer de Nevada. Vivimos en Tigre pero estamos de visita unos meses en la casa de mis suegros en USA.
Tenemos un bebé de 4 meses, nuestro primero.
Si no es demasiado pedir, sería posible que cuando volvamos al principio de año a Arg podamos hablar con ustedes. Mi mujer está teniendo problemas de adaptación a vivir en argentina por falta de amigas y conocidos en una situación similar a la nuestra.
Saludos