I don't think of it as abandoning dreams. I think of it as outgrowing dreams. Ya know like the dream to be Barbie or a fireman or the Ice Cream Truck driver. I outgrew those and at 71 I keep outgrowing dreams which are immediately supplanted by new au courant dreams. Thankfully lots of my dreams have come to fruition. They shed their ethereal wings and took root in the world.
Over time I have found that many things we learn from work and business apply perfectly to personal life, but we tend to want to separate the two. Why?!
I say let's abandon this thinking too. We are one person.
Like you say Claire, "the dream is not your life".
Plus life changes, we change, and new dreams come up.
My dream for many years was to get a PhD. In fact, I was accepted into a doctoral program back in 2009 only to be talked out of it by my now ex wife. Looking back, it was the right move to ditch that aim as I likely would have been a very miserable soul.
My fifth grade teacher, Miss Sluss, had a dream for all of us and she read them out loud at the end of the school year. Her dream for me was that I would live out West on a mountain top and yell to another person on a different mountain top that there was a big fire approaching. She based this on my loud voice. I did live out part of that dream she had for me.
I don't have any dreams. I was raised by parents who lived through the depression, and whose point of view was firmly based in the possible, not the could-be.
Haha I love this, Claire. You're such a great writer. But a lot of excellent novelists I know can't help asking themselves these days, Why do I still want to be a novelist? It was always my dream, but maybe it's as outmoded and unrealistic as wanting to be a pastoral poet? I ask myself, and it's STILL my dream, but maybe it's.....stupid?
The phrase "like a diaper bag with an anvil in it" is pure gold.
I wrote a novel and revised and revised and revised and sent it out and sent it out and sent it out and finally gave my dreams of publication (of that book specifically) a Christian burial. I announced it on one of my blogs and added that Christian burial does come with the hope of resurrection.
I recently set up a micropress to put out works set in a unified universe that also contains that book, and I plan to rewrite the thing from the ground up and put it out myself.
You shouldn't be afraid to walk away from things. You can always circle back.
Thank you for sharing this issue, I think it is very important for many people. Close to this topic, I think that understanding when to abandon a project is also important. People often feel reluctant to abandon an initiative, think they can't 'get things done' and so on, but the ability to understand this is also very important in learning what didn't work and moving forward.
I don't think of it as abandoning dreams. I think of it as outgrowing dreams. Ya know like the dream to be Barbie or a fireman or the Ice Cream Truck driver. I outgrew those and at 71 I keep outgrowing dreams which are immediately supplanted by new au courant dreams. Thankfully lots of my dreams have come to fruition. They shed their ethereal wings and took root in the world.
I love THE box filing system. So Retro🙂
Out-growing. Yes, yes, YES.
In tech and in business we call it a pivot.
Over time I have found that many things we learn from work and business apply perfectly to personal life, but we tend to want to separate the two. Why?!
I say let's abandon this thinking too. We are one person.
Like you say Claire, "the dream is not your life".
Plus life changes, we change, and new dreams come up.
Indeed!
My dream for many years was to get a PhD. In fact, I was accepted into a doctoral program back in 2009 only to be talked out of it by my now ex wife. Looking back, it was the right move to ditch that aim as I likely would have been a very miserable soul.
Great example. It's so weird the things we think we want;)
My fifth grade teacher, Miss Sluss, had a dream for all of us and she read them out loud at the end of the school year. Her dream for me was that I would live out West on a mountain top and yell to another person on a different mountain top that there was a big fire approaching. She based this on my loud voice. I did live out part of that dream she had for me.
Love her.
Beautiful.
And since we talking stupid - I will not be jumping from airplane for fun anytime soon. Or ever.
I did that! ;)
I don't have any dreams. I was raised by parents who lived through the depression, and whose point of view was firmly based in the possible, not the could-be.
;)
Haha I love this, Claire. You're such a great writer. But a lot of excellent novelists I know can't help asking themselves these days, Why do I still want to be a novelist? It was always my dream, but maybe it's as outmoded and unrealistic as wanting to be a pastoral poet? I ask myself, and it's STILL my dream, but maybe it's.....stupid?
A PASTORAL POET. LOL. I liked some of the themes brought up in this podcast: https://thehyphen.substack.com/p/how-do-you-know-when-to-quit
The phrase "like a diaper bag with an anvil in it" is pure gold.
I wrote a novel and revised and revised and revised and sent it out and sent it out and sent it out and finally gave my dreams of publication (of that book specifically) a Christian burial. I announced it on one of my blogs and added that Christian burial does come with the hope of resurrection.
I recently set up a micropress to put out works set in a unified universe that also contains that book, and I plan to rewrite the thing from the ground up and put it out myself.
You shouldn't be afraid to walk away from things. You can always circle back.
Thank you for sharing this issue, I think it is very important for many people. Close to this topic, I think that understanding when to abandon a project is also important. People often feel reluctant to abandon an initiative, think they can't 'get things done' and so on, but the ability to understand this is also very important in learning what didn't work and moving forward.